I wanted to let you each know that our beloved mom passed away yesterday. I know that some of you have talked to Dad and others may have seen the update on the web site. I wanted to let you all know so you would have the same information.
Many of you were very close to both mom and dad. It is going to be rough for him as they were a couple who always were together and who completed each other. They celebrated their 39th anniversary in April. The last year has been a wonderful gift from God and we will not forget it. I had the experience to see my father be a loving husband who cherished and protected his wife. I saw my mother put up a great fight and grow close to God. As a family we experienced a cruise together and a Christmas that would not have happened without an event like this. My sister and grandmother (who is 92)and parents were all together for the Christmas holiday. It was our first Christmas together in 15 years. My kids got celebrate with their grandparents and great grandma for the first time in there lives. As I said before, the year was a beautiful gift from our Lord. I think the second gift we received was this last week . . .
I have copied the time line from the website below to show you the events of the last week. The routine hospital visit on the 7th and what would happen next was not something we could expect. We know now that had the aspiration not happened that our treatment options would have been for short term pain control likely in hospice to control the severe pain she would have felt to the end. My sister and grandmother made it here form Spokane to be with her in the end. As a matter of fact, most of my mom�s beloved family was at her bed side loving her through the end. I want you to all to know that she died peacefully and without pain. Our family truly believes that God was with us since the initial diagnosis. He gave my mom time to wrap up some loose ends � to seek Him further, to watch her grandkids turn a year older, to celebrate a Christmas with her mother, children, and grandchildren, to go on a cruise, to visit in the desert with the friends they cherished. All of this time was a gift from God to all of us. We all realize that and thank Him so much for the past year and for the 62 years that my mom graced us with her presence. There may be some of you who do not share our faith in God. We have close relatives that believe a loving God would have never given cancer to a child of His, but we do not see it that way. We are sad and we will desperately miss my mom, but we saw God�s hand of mercy and grace through all of this and we know we will see my mom again.
With her mom, brother, and sisters in town, we had a dinner for the family today at our house. We looked at photo albums and told a few stories. Mom did not want a big funeral. Dad is planning on doing something at Celia�s Garden in Arizona this winter. This will give him a chance to join with all his friends and place mom where she said she wanted to go when it was time. We know mom is with both her Heavenly father and her daddy right now and she will be very pleased to have her earthy remains in Celia�s Garden. I would imagine that he will do that sometime in February. He may need some help coordinating a small gathering.
My dad loves to talk on the cell phone but is always worried about his minutes. I know he wants to talk to his friends but I don�t want him to have to tell the same story many times over as it is very hard to him to speak about. So when you do call be thoughtful. (We all know my dad loves to talk so he may not give you a chance to be thoughtful) J
Some of you asked for my address to send dad a card. It is 16308 210th Ave NE, Woodinville WA 98077
To find out more about Celia�s Garden check out this information: Celia's Gardens
If you have any suggestions for ways we can support my dad through this time we would appreciate that too.
Thanks,,
Gaylon
For those who are lucky to
still be blessed with your Mom this is beautiful.
For those who aren't, this is even more beautiful.............
The young mother set her foot on the path of life.
"Is this the long way?" she asked.
And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before
you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe
that anything could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, and taught
them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the
dog, and do their homework and brush their teeth.
The sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be
lovelier than this."
Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them
close and covered them with her arms, and the children said, "Mother, we
are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed
and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the
children, A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the
storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after
year, she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all....
unconditional love.
And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have
done it without you."
The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and
the mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children
were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she
lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day
than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing
these traits on to their children."
And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her, and gave her their
strength, just as she had given them hers.
One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a shining
road
and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the
end
is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and
pride, with
their heads held high, and so can their children after them."
And the children said, " You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you
have
gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on
alone, and
the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is
with us still.
A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence."
Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk
down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you
pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're
not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a
rainbow, she is
Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear
drop.
A mother shows every emotion..........happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy,
love,
hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow..... and all the while,
hoping
and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place
you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step
you take. She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy,
but nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not
space...............not even death!
May we never take our Mothers for granted.
Prior Web Entries
6/8/2005 - I am sorry to let you know that mom passed away tonight at 6:30pm. I am posting this so you will all know. I will add more details soon. The long and the short of it is that we went into the hospital yesterday to help control some pain and to do an mri on her back. When she was coming out of sedation she either aspirated, or the cancer in her back impacted her respiratory system. She was never able to oxygenate well after that. They placed a breathing tube in her and stabilized her. Mom did not want a breathing tube but we felt it was an action to get over a hump. For 24 hours they worked on getting her blood pressure up, her lungs in better shape, and a few other things. The biggest thing was to get her breathing and the oxygenation. Today we talked to the Dr. and all felt that a few weeks on the tubes to try and get her stable was not going to do it and that mom would not have wanted to be kept alive. We also all realize the cancer in her back and lungs was much worse and any treatment was strictly going to be for comfort measures anyway. My sister flew in last night at 10:30pm and Louise's mom and sister came over from Colville today at 5:00pm. The tube was removed at 5:30 and we spent an hour around her talking to her and telling stories for an hour. She then passed away very peacefully. I want to thank all of you guys for the cards and support over this last year. I know Dad will continue to need our help and support as he transitions to a new chapter in his life.
6/7/2005 - Mom has a MRI for her back scheduled today at 11:30. This is probably to map out the pattern and exact location for the radiation treatment. Mom likes Dr. Hunter and he has given us great results in the past.
She has no recollection of eating ice cream with dad and I last night. She was bummed because we left some in the freezer and she said she would have eaten it already today :)
6/6/2005 - Mom is in Evergreen hospital and is doing awesome. Her back pain was getting unbearable and she was admitted to primarily get her pain under control. She looked great tonight and said that she felt like living. It is amazing what relief from pain can look like.
Tomorrow they will create a pill form of her meds to give her the same coverage as the drip she is on. Her radiation and oncology doctors will also decide the next treatment for her. She was supposed to have chemo tomorrow but it looks like they will focus some radiation on her lung and T8 (I think) on her back. The cancer on her back and hip are what are making her uncomfortable.
Dr. Mathey prefers to let the chemo shrink those tumors even though radiation is quicker. Letting the chemo do the job helps them see the chemo work and gauges how good that treatment will work on all the other spots as well. I think at this point relieving her back and hip as well as the primary spot in her lung is more important than having the chemo slowly work.
I should get an update around noon tomorrow and will let you know what I find out.
6/5/2005 - Late night trip to the ER for mom's back pain. Came home with some new meds and she will be going in first think in the morning to find out what they can do to treat/fix the pain.
/mom/home.asp will continue to have a few updates and get some final information posted but this is the overall final summary.